Log in



Been awhile. Been kinda self-absorbed lately, unfortunately. I got a new computer (my old one crapped out), which was apparently a mistake. I've been doing nothing but screwing around with GIMP (like free Photoshop), downloading shit, and playing games. I know, I'm horrible.

Anyway. I finally joined NEAT. Nothing going on with them right now, but there'll be something to do eventually. I'd like to actually get involved, y'know, fundraising and planning events, all that stuff. But I get the feeling nobody really wants me there. Probably just me being paranoid, I know. But there is one girl there who I'm pretty sure doesn't want me around. Every time I've ever stopped by the office, she's been there, and she's always giving me weird looks and when she speaks to me, it's like she can barely stop from sneering. She probably just thinks I'm a poser. Hell, sometimes I think I'm a poser. I really care about this stuff, but I feel like people see me as just latching onto a trend.

And I really hate that it's become a trend. Everywhere you look, it's 'go green' this, and 'save the planet' that. All the TV commercials aimed at housewives wanting 'clean homes and clean air, too', the constant barrage of ads for 'fuel-efficient SUVs' (HA!). All these people are doing is trivialising the issue. 10 more mpg in your car, natural cleaners, CFL's, etc...these are all great things, and if everyone adopted them, it would be even better... but let's face it: they're not going to save us. A complete global infrastructure rebuild, the total co-operation of energy companies to develop clean energy, and above all, the whole world gaining a total understanding of our place on this earth and how much we've overstepped our bounds...that's what will truly make a difference. So what the hell does a clever car ad have to do with that? Nothing. It's just consumerism in a different wrapper.

Heh, can you tell I'm in a bad mood? My family's bugging me, as usual. I realize they're entitled to their opinions and to live their lives how they want...but they really don't have to treat me like a joke. That's what pisses me off about them. If I try to share something I've learned or feel with any of them, they either completely ignore me or talk to me like I'm a five year old trying to show them a weird rock I found. They've always done this to me. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but it still makes me want to scream every goddamn time.

I've written and erased what I want to say next about a dozen times now. I give up trying to express how shitty they make me feel and how selfish they act. It just makes me too angry. Plus, I suck at explaining things.




July 2008

Powered by LiveJournal.com